April 2nd 2005
Today is April 1st. Now that's some complex fooling.
April 4th 2005
Since getting rid of Crazy Diary Poll Man (for the second time) I don't have even the vaguest idea how big (or existent) the readership of this page is, or, particularly, how many ex-Prince Henry's students still keep up with the rollercoaster that is my life. Well, the news that I have to impart today will probably be of more interest to Worcestershire people more than to Uni people. Basically, soon I will fall into only one of those categories, as I bid farewell to Worcestershire and move to Somerset. In late July, Dad's taking up a new parish, in the vicinity of Yeovil, so I will soon be a declared resident of a house called The Rectory, which is an exciting change from The Vicarage. So, here's to Worcestershire, here's to Eckington, and here's to the people that have meant something to me over these last 13 years. You don't all know who you are, but thanks anyway. I'm not going to write any more at present...
...actually, I am going to. Chris Day, who (currently) lives across the road from me, has complained that I haven't mentioned him. So I just did. He's available for after-dinner speaking.
April 9th 2005
Since writing the last entry, I've been to see the new house for the first time - it's very nice, if smaller than where we are now. I will maintain my reticence on the whole subject. In other news, I went to see Sahara today, because it was (as Ian put it) the least worst film currently showing at the cinema. Actually, it was better than I thought it would be - not a classic, by any means, but certainly watchable. The so-called 'funny guy' was, although very likeable, not at all funny (he did, I believe, play Phoebe's first husband, Duncan, in Friends). Penny Cruz was as expected, although her accent fluctuated greatly from scene to scene... obviously she had the choice of Mr. Funny and Mr. Handsome (the next Mr. Darcy, I understand), and went for the latter... surprisingly, I was rooting for the kinda-funny guy who was useless with women, but to no avail. Next time on Colin's diary: Texas, Hitch, and the Chronicles of Narnia.
April 14th 2005
A word about friends today, and not the sitcom - my friends. Well, some of them. Look out for your name... Rob. Good start. Firstly, Tom Palmer, my best friend from first school, whom I hadn't seen for about seven years - we (eventually) arranged to meet up over the holidays, and said meeting took place today, in Worcester (at the Elgar Statue, no less). I had thought we'd spend a lot of time reminiscing over the good-old-days, but we spent far more time talking about our respective Unis, and our A-levels. We students have one-track minds, you know... I'm reminded of meeting Joe Mirczuk again last year (or was it the year before?), when we both happened to be at an open day at Nottingham Uni. He was my best friend at middle school, and it was a clear answer to prayer that he was there, because I had been wanting to see him, and was also nervous about the open day (don't ask me why). Two more friends were here yesterday (hey!...) since The Big Three met up in sunny Eckington... sadly David, Christine, Tom couldn't make it, but I'm sure Ant & Dicky will let them know about the sights of Eckington, even if it can't compare to actually being here. Who next... how about Simon, my brother and best friend... I recently told you all about Piggy, but Simon is unwilling to join in the fun, and is trying his hardest to call Piggy 'Paul' - eurgh. Not only this, but he is trying to create his own nicknames, with little or no success. Personally, I'm toying with calling Stuart 'Blindo'... it seems to be going okay so far, but we'll see what the PC brigade have to say. In other friendly news, it's probably time to come clean to the chosen few that 'twas I who was Lirpa Fuhal. Let me explain: on April Fool's Day, I sent an e-mail to various friends claiming to be Lirpa Fuhal, a gentleman staying in their room at Warwick, apologizing for flood damage, and offering a Charles/Camilla clock (without a minute hand) as recompense. Anthony got back to me with an e-mail that I suspect took a roomful of monkeys and typewriters four hours to put together (I'm sorry, Ant... it was great), and Becky replied with a truly pitiful joke about clocks (Becky doesn't read this page, so I don't need to apologize. It really was a rubbish joke, anyhow. Please don't tell her I said so). Tom replied in what appeared to be a serious manner, so whether he was taken in (unlikely) or was merely continuing the fiction remains to be seen... Warwick students, please note if he looks for flood damage... then laugh at him. And/or take his toothbrush. Richard claims not to have received the e-mail, and David + Christine seem to have ignored it... but then, computers have only just reached Liverpool, and the locals are still trying to use them to remove hubcaps... this entry is dedicated to the one and only, Tom Clohesy. In the hope that he won't eat me.
April 19th 2005
Most of my friends, nice people that they are, would probably say I'm a funny kind of guy. Well, they're either laughing at me or at my jokes, and if it's the former, I'll have to go and bury myself somewhere. And I like to be funny - I enjoy making people laugh. But... like all great comedians, mediocre comedians, and truly awful comedians, I want to be taken seriously at some point. That's why comedians play Hamlet. Actually, it is true that I want to be taken seriously when I want to be serious, but I also want people to laugh when I want to be funny, and I guess people have a hard time keeping up. Basically, I don't want people to laugh because I'm an idiot, or - even worse - because I'm idiosyncratic. I've tried idiosyncratic, and it's a poor substitute for humour that doesn't win any great friendship, and I want the foundation of my relationships with others to be friendship, not laughter. How well I've succeeded in that is debatable - I'd say that I have with several, but not all. As I said, most of my friends would say I'm a funny kind of guy, but what else? Would they say that I'm friendly, kind, loyal? If I was doing a self-assessment, I wouldn't give myself 3 out of 3. Please bear in mind when reading this that it's 3 in the morning, which is a traditional self-assessment time... all in all, I've literally never been happier with my life than I have been since getting to Uni. Well, apart from the fact I left loads of stuff at home by mistake... never mind, my sleeping bag makes an excellent auxiliary pillow.
April 25th 2005
Anyone with even a passing interest in CrazySnakeMan will probably know that my favourite friends moment is Chandler's crazy snake man speech in Series 2. Last week, I discovered that Becky's favourite Friends moment comes in Series 10, where Joey tries to demonstrate that he can drink a gallon of milk in ten seconds: an attempt that lasts 25 seconds or so, and covers him in milk. I have to admit that I didn't get this at first - Phoebe's line 'you did it!' is, I am informed, merely an attempt to make Joey feel better, whereas I took it to be yet another example of Friends (Phoebe's character in particular) doing or saying something that would never happen in real life, which has always annoyed me - the way she delivered the line makes it seem (to me at least) that she believed he'd succeeded in his quest. Anyhow, that aside, I can't really fathom how that is her favourite moment - the issue was compounded when Tall Andy said it was his favourite moment too, and even Steve, who hadn't seen it, couldn't stop laughing. Now, I'm not dead set against physical comedy as opposed to verbal comedy, but the whole Joey/milk incident wouldn't be in my top 100 favourite Friends moments. In fact, it wouldn't come close. Why such disparity? If you want to make your own judgement, watch 1013:TOW Joey Speaks French (an episode, by the way, which I really dislike, since it centres around Joey saying things like 'vu da blu flo' and thinking he's saying 'Je m'appelle Claude' - a prime example of him doing things that could never happen, and thus making the jokes horrendously unfunny). In other news, there is a large heart-shaped puddle of mud outside Rootes, and yesterday we tried to come up with an analogy to explain it: "Falling in love is like falling in mud...". My favourites were "...you start to worry when it gets to your head", "...it obstructs your vision" and "...rarely deliberate." See how you can do.