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April 1st 2004

Well, after the pictures today, I don't think Tony Blair will be in power much longer. If you haven't seen them, they show TB at a pub, wearing an England shirt... and very little else. Clearly drunk. If he doesn't get thrown out of government based on his rubbish policies, he'll get thrown out based on the fact that he's a drunken idiot.

April 2nd 2004

Hmm... this morning, Mr. Cooper pulled me aside in assembly and told me that I was using the computers too much. Let me set the scene. On Monday, he gave Simon and I a sheet and told us to 'do some of the questions' - not specifying which ones and, more crucially, when to do the questions for. When Simon and I had only done one question (of six) by Wednesday, he thought we no longer had the eagerness for maths that we used to have (it would be difficult for Simon's eagerness to sink much lower). So he did a little research, and found that we were both in the top five for computer usage. And I want to know who's keeping me off the top spot: for one thing, I spend breaks and lunchtimes in a computer room. For another, Simon and I are in a minority of people who don't drive and aren't within walking distance of home. So when, for example, I have my free period last lesson today, what am I going to do? While most people would go home, I'm not prepared to pay the 4 or so to take two buses and arrive about the time I would by going on the school bus. And I'm sorry, but I'm not going to do homework on a Friday afternoon that's due in on Tuesday. So, being almost alone in the upper sixth, I go on the net. Perhaps Peter or Scott (who are in a similar position of not driving and not living within walking distance of their homes) will be there too. I admit that I spend a lot of time on the net, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it (although explaining the hours I've spent on eBay in the last week or so might be difficult... making me wonder why school hasn't filtered it). I don't mean to sound arrogant (although I realise I do) but I think that my time on the internet isn't affecting my grades: not counting my german AS, I now have As in every module of every subject (counting my chemistry retake). In other news, you may have worked out that yesterday's entry was an April Fool. A certain person with whom I once shared a uterus didn't realise this, and decided to use Google image search to find the pictures... oh dear.

April 5th 2004

I thought it was about time I had a Friends-related poll on this site, so this week I have. If anybody has any good ideas about future polls, please e-mail me, because I'm starting to run out of ideas... there are already indications that Rachel might win this poll, as shown by Bradley's comment; "Which one is played by Jennifer Aniston?"

April 6th 2004

I was sure that I had a free second lesson today. Certain of it. It was only during break that I looked at my timetable (to see whether I had a free next lesson, which may be ironic) and noticed that second lesson I had had chemistry. So, I had skived chemistry - accidentally, I hasten to add. But still. My reputation tarnished forever. I'm currently pondering whether to explain myself to Mr. Line now, or wait until Parents' Evening tonight to let him know. Or perhaps in my chemistry lesson this afternoon with Mrs. Lungley, it will crop up. Damn. I also think I ought to mention Friends last Friday: not a classic. Matthew Perry did the emotional scenes very well, until he decided to do a little dance-celebration, which was truly appalling. Simon says (and I agree) that Joey appeared selfish and hypocritical, which wasn't very nice. On the theme of Friends, some people tried to tell me today that Coupling (rubbish British rip-off of Friends) was not a rubbish British rip-off of Friends. Please. Even the storyline was taken from Friends series 5, TOW Ross's Thing. Pathetic.

April 22nd 2004

That's right, kids, I'm back. Perhaps I didn't achieve as much work as promised, but I still did a fair bit, and wouldn't have had time to update this page... anyways, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I've just realised that my archive link was, until today, going to the wrong page. Damn. Perhaps this isn't the most coherent way to reintroduce you to the delights of my diary, so I'll try and start again: first thing's first; Powly passed his driving test, so three cheers for him. Hip hip hooray! That's enough of that. On a different note, every now and then I get more or less addicted to something. This time it's Back to the Future. The trilogy, to be more exact... you see, I've seen BttF a couple of times, but never from the beginning. I've also seen most of BttF2, and a bit of BttF3. However, this holiday I purchased the trilogy (on video, not DVD... it only cost me 8.19) and I love it. BttF is a classic film. BttF2 is [possibly] even better, since it covers more times, and is very clever (Marty has to go back to 1955 again, and so passes through scenes from BttF - brilliant!). BttF3, being a Western, was not promising, but it ended up being nothing like the turkey (it's a metaphor) I thought it would be: the relationship between Marty and Doc Brown is very well played, although Doc Brown's love interest was a mistake (and the process of BttF3 was slightly less logically possible than the other two). In fact, one of the great things about BttF is that it is the most logical time travel film I've ever seen: there are two ways of doing time travel in fiction (and none in real life), which I'll try to explain. Say that two events happen, A and B, in that order. B only happens as a result of A happening. Somebody experiences B, then goes back in time and causes A to happen. That is one way. The other way (which BttF usually does) is that somebody experiences C (instead of B), goes back in time and causes A to happen, but then returns to find that instead of C happening, B has happened. For example, Marty's family are pathetic, he goes back in time and changes stuff, then when he arrives back, he finds an 'alternative reality' - his family are cool. To me, this is easier to comprehend and much more workable (unlike Terminator, which I tried to write about earlier). One of the few times where BttF messes up is this: Marty (in 1985) learns to play Johnny B. Goode from listening to Chuck Berry. Then Marty (in 1955) plays Johnny B. Goode, which leads to Chuck's cousin telling Chuck about it. This suggests that Marty affects the 1985 present that he already knew, which is not possible (of course, Chuck might have told his cousin that that's the exact same song he was just thinking up...). Enough about BttF for now. Except to say that I borrowed Michael J. Fox's autobiography from the library, and finished it in about 24 hours: I was hoping that there'd be lots of anecdotes about working on BttF, which, disappointingly, there weren't. The guy chose to write more about his Parkinson's Disease (which I'd vaguely remembered something about), and he comes across as a really nice guy. The fact that he wrote the book himself, without a ghost writer (as most 'autobiographies' have) made the book much more real. So there you have it, I'm now BttF's biggest fan. But, in order to show that I'm not obsessed with material objects, I'm not getting the DVD. Even though I really want it. Look at me, I'm growing. Another thing that happened this holiday is that I changed my hairstyle: after all, it had been the same for four years, except that it occasionally got bigger and more curvy. And so far no-one's thrown anything at me. Well, aren't you glad I'm back?

I've noticed that not many people are voting on this week's poll (or last week's). I hope that's because people assumed I wasn't updating it... so please keep voting!

April 24th 2004

Ok ill come on and say Crazy Man With A Snake and you'll say "Crazy Snake Man!" and that will be the catchphrase we endorse into......OH HELO! And welcome

Crazy Man With A Snake!

"Crazy Snake Man!"

Now that's what I call pastiche. I'm referring to Dearlove's Day (chapter four). I even took pains to include the five spelling and punctuation errors that the original had, for added authenticity. Now, I realise that before I swore not to comment on other people's blog-type-things, but I'm going to anyway, because Dearlove wrote something that I believe is brilliant. Absolutely eyebrows-in-your-hair, hands-on-your-cheeks fantastic. Here it is: "Meanwhile thinking of this I was watching good old neighbours...[insert blasphemy here] its gone downhill since the 3 comedy characters (toddie,joel and lance) lived at number 30, then lance became a geek and went of with his new lady friend, Joel went of sailing.....to then suddenly appear in "the bill" madness! Which leaves toadie. They introduce 2 other characters to try and fill the roles of the departures (stew and Connor) but its now the same....but overall its just got [insert rude word here], yet people still have to watch it! Including me!" Now, I've tried to keep it clean for my younger readers. That's you, Powly. I also don't agree with some of it - Neighbours cannot have gone downhill, since it was never really uphill. But the rest I agree with: Toadie, Joel and Lance ruled totally. And feeble attempts to replace them with the likes of Taj, Stu and Connor just haven't worked. Although I do like Connor, what with us both being Irish. What I have to say is, Dearlove, I never knew thee. In other news, Ron Atkinson has got in trouble for saying 'nigger.' I'm sure Will Smith said nigger about six hundred times in Bad Boys (and therefore presumably 1200 times in Bad Boys 2), but no-one cares, cos he's a black man. A Negro. You get the picture. It is disgusting that people have got so het up about the word: I have several copies of Agatha Christie's Ten Little Niggers: does that make me racist? Perhaps so, since they changed the title to Ten Little Indians. And then that became racist, so they changed it to And Then There Were None. (It's only a matter of time before anti-abortionists get that one changed...) Anyway, perhaps Big Ron was trying to say something else: lazy digger? lazy bigger? Schwarzenegger? (hey, it's a hard word to say) Lays an egg, er? I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt. So here's to Big Ron. And Dearlove. But not to the writers of Friends Like Us, who say of TOW No-one's Ready: "if the last episode was a bit lame, this one is trying to walk without any legs at all" (among other things). I'm sorry, but they are talking about what is, in my opinion, the best Friends episode ever made (even above TOW Heckles Dies). Shot in real time, all in one room, it is both clever and hilarious (except the bit after the closing credits, which is elsewhere and crap), and Matthew Perry in particular is fantastic. Since I'm mentioning Friends, I should say that yesterday's was pretty damn good, with Perry doing well. So here's to Matthew Perry. And Ron Atkinson. And Dearlove. Three kings among men.

April 26th 2004

Yet again I've learnt the hard way not to write about other people's blogs... Dearlove (see last entry) claims that I love myself a tad (possibly another Neighbours reference...?). However, since he fails to spell my Christian name correctly, I don't feel that this he is in any position to comment authoritatively on me. So there. More importantly, let me explain a bit about this week's poll: Animals Fighting. The four animals selected are the favourite animals of myself, Ben Parsons, Pete Alcock and Doug. On the Einaudi trip, we pondered which animal would win a fight, and came to the decision that it would depend where the fight took place (ie - top of a tree, owl would win. Underwater, penguin would win... you get the picture). C14, in case you don't know, is the small computer room in the C-block (near the technology rooms), and I chose it because it is small and not filled with water. So, make your decisions carefully. Except you, Dearlove. You can't vote.

April 27th 2004

Generalising slightly, there are two types of people who read this page. The first search for their name, read what's said about them, and then go back to their normal, well-adjusted lives. I'm looking at you, Stedman. In fact, I've engaged in narcissism myself (as has been recently documented... I think) by searching Dockery's, Doug's and Ben's blogs for references to myself. It gives me a warm feeling inside (with a few notable exceptions). The other type of person is someone who reads this religiously, moaning on those days when it's not updated, and keenly logging on every Monday at 5am to see if the new poll is up yet. Obviously I exaggerate, but for those of you with more than a passing interest in these pages, I'd like to explain why (as you probably haven't noticed) it's never updated on a Sunday. I try to keep to the Ten Commandments - some of them are easier than others. Adultery (a chance would be a fine thing), murder (usually easy) and theft have never been difficult to avoid, but the one that I used to be troubled by was the one about resting on the Sabbath - 'keeping it holy'. Not working on Sundays hardly seems like a large effort when I don't have a job anyway, and I do do a lot of homework on Sundays (not doing that isn't particularly holy). So, I don't use computers (except for work) on Sunday. So, there's an explanation for you, if you cared.

April 28th 2004

I don't think this is worthy of a poll, but I've been trying to think up the best song, the title of which is just a girl's Christian name. Early contenders included Michelle (The Beatles), Roxanne (The Police) and Layla (Derek and the Dominoes). Since then, with the help of Simon, I have come up with Julia (The Beatles), Denise (Blondie), Maria (Blondie), Jolene (Dolly Parton), Mandy (I dunno... loads of people), Junita (I can't remember) and Cecilia (Simon and Garfunkel?). To be honest, I haven't heard a few of these songs... I just thought it was something worth doing. I realise now that it probably wasn't. And for those of you who want to suggest Maggie May (either version), I'm sorry. That's too many names. I think I can just about pinpoint the moment when my life ceased to hold any particular meaning.

April 29th 2004

Justin pointed out to me that Sara, by Bob Dylan, was missing from yesterday's list. So, well done Justin. Justin also asked me the other day if the Pope was a jerk (at least, I think it was Justin...). Not a question I was able to answer very easily, and indeed not of any real interest, except as a bridge between Justin and The Passion of Christ, Mel Gibson's film about Jesus, which is what I want to write about (again... see this page). I saw the film on the first day of the Easter holidays, at Worcester Vue cinema. The very fact that I was able to see it at Vue is testament to the film's success: everybody predicted that it would be a self-righteous flop, but it's becoming one of the highest-grossing films ever. And, without any shade of a doubt, it was the most emotional film I have ever seen: it's just a pity that some of the emotions I felt whilst watching it have now faded a little; but the impact that film made will, hopefully, remain with me. I cannot understand how people get bogged down with anti-Semitism; can't they see the overall message of the film? Jesus was love incarnate, and to see the suffering that he underwent (and although it was bloody, it was not as bad as I'd expected, and, let's face it, probably pretty accurate) was an extremely humbling experience (I realise that's a cliche. Well, why do you think it became a cliche?). The thing that was at the front of my mind was that He could have stopped the pain at any time, yet He didn't. I realise that several people will just scan over today's paragraph wishing I didn't get so religious in this diary: subtly veiled insults (so subtly veiled I don't even know I'm making them sometimes...) are more your kind of thing. Well, I challenge anyone to see The Passion of Christ and still feel that way: there are very few subjects about which I won't make jokes (or try to), but Jesus' crucifixion is one of them. In other news, there's been more voting for this week's poll than any other (except the infamous Steph vs Izzy debacle), meaning that either some people are voting for their favourite animal more than once, or that certain constructive criticism of this page on other sites has brought more interest than ever before. There have been some interesting comments made on the vote this week, as well, with one anonymous voter (his name begins with Dougla) giving an extremely convincing argument as to why the owl should win. However, as I write, it is currently the polar bear who leads the way.

April 30th 2004

I was reading the Evesham Journal the other day, and with good reason, since it not only had a picture of my local first school, but also a football team that had Stedman in it. Excitement doesn't get more pulsating than that. Also, on the front page, it had an article about a guy who sells cannibis seeds: not illegal to buy or sell, but illegal to do pretty much anything with once you own them. Although I may be doing avid seed collectors discredit, I would tenatively put forward the theory that most buyers are interested in the cannibis seeds for reasons that aren't aesthetic. Which is why I think it's a bit foolish to put it on the front page of the journal, with a colour photograph of the shop. Certainly interest has surged in the school, based on this article: basically, it's one big front page advert. I'd just like to mention that Our Revered Leader has again toyed with controversy by coming out against the sale of cannabis. As do I.

what was I listening to?
50 Years of the Great Hit Singles - Various
what was I reading?
Lucky Man - Michael J Fox
what was I watching?
Back to the Future
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