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February 2nd 2004

When I'm at home, I always think of things to put in this diary, but when it comes round to it, I've usually forgotten what they were... I do remember, however, that Simon said the other day that he thinks Britney Spears is better than John Lennon. I leave you to make up your own minds up about his taste in music. Another thing that I was thinking about was MSN - you can tell how popular someone is by how much time they spend on MSN. Now, I don't want to mention names... certain people might get annoyed... but when certain acquaintances of mine were less popular, they were on MSN every night. Now that they've reached the peaks of coolness (and I exaggerate slightly) they're not to be seen on the interweb at all. People like me, who think a good Friday night is one in which they watch more than four episodes of Friends, are still diligently messaging others, and waiting online for our so-called friends to talk to us. Well, that's all I've got to say about that.

February 3rd 2004

Those people who peruse my archives regularly (and I'm not speaking metaphorically) will recall that Doug and I saw Return of the King on December 30th, and on that day he said that he'd lend me a video of the Office. Yesterday, he did. I've said before now that Doug is The Master, and I stand by what I said. He is The Master. So go to his website. It's here.

February 4th 2004

So, I was watching Newsnight last night (oh yes. I'm smart. You better believe it) and saw the Japanese Prime Minister. Apparently, in Japan, they say that their PM only sent troops into Iraq because George Bush wanted him to. Finally, the Japanese are copying us. Anyways, the Japanese PM looks uncannily like Richard Gere - well, a Japanese version of the man. Next time you see him (the Jap, not Gere... probably on TV rather than in person, but hey, I might have fans in high places. In Japan. Who speak fluent English) think to yourself; "which Pretty Woman star does this man remind you of?" If the answer's Julia Roberts, I'll be very surprised. Very surprised. Very surprised indeed. As I write this - at breaktime - there is a meeting for Senior Prefects. And guess who's not there. Despite the fact I watch Newsnight. Twice, now.

February 5th 2004

As I write this, I have just come from the scene of battle. Sort of. While in the IT room, two of my friends - I'm not sure how much of this is going to get out, so I'll call them James and Thomas (because they're my middle and last names - they have no relation to the actual names) - starting fighting over a stupid thing that neither of them really care about. Now, James and Thomas have had fake-fights quite a few times, so most of us thought that they were just having a laugh. Reprehensible, perhaps, but not cause for worry. However, the sounds that Thomas was making made it clear that he wasn't enjoying the brawl much, and James looked pretty angry. I made a feeble effort to get James's arm off Thomas's neck, and a couple of others told him to stop, and after a few seconds he did, but there was blood coming from Thomas's head, and he asked for 'medical assistance'. I don't know how it happened - there was a shoe involved - but it looked pretty serious. No-one moved, so I went next door (to the staff room) and (rather foolishly) said 'we have a head wound in B11... I don't know what it is, but it looks red.' This last was a rather poor attempt at a joke (in a kind of bitter, ironic way - I probably need to tone those down). Fortunately, several members of staff and a first aid kit were soon at the scene, and James was immediately repentant, even giving up his prized fleece to stem the blood (a symbolic gesture, I should imagine). As I say, I don't know how far this is going to go - I think it unlikely that James will be welcomed back into B11 any time soon, and a suspension might be on the cards (sorry - temporary exclusion). But my main emotion immediately after the incident wasn't anger at James's stupidity, or even pity for Thomas - it was guilt. Guilt that I hadn't done more to stop James, or stop the incident before it happened. Rationally, I know that there was nothing wrong or even foolish about my actions, but looking back I know that I could have prevented it. I still don't know the extent of Thomas's injuries - it looks worse than I originally thought, judging by both the blood and his pain, and it was dangerously close to the ear. Hopefully there won't be any lasting damage, and hopefully this is the last time James does anything that stupid. (Apologies to Tom Gwilliam and James Scott, if anyone reads this and thinks they were involved. May I reiterate that James and Thomas my middle and last names, and chosen only to give anonymity to those involved. Although I doubt that their anonymity will last for long).

February 6th 2004

It appears that my diary is now second only to CNN in getting the news to the people - no fewer than two people learnt about yesterday's events through reading this page (and, it seems, worked out who the actual culprits were). Both have been banned from the IT Room, I understand. But could return within 45 minutes.

I would like to apologise for any confusion about the above statement - it was the two culprits who were banned from the IT Room, not the two people who learnt about the events. I don't know if that makes any more sense...

And so I'm back to where this diary originated: my friendly neighbourhood library. Actually, it's the school library. Well, I spent most of lunch talking to Ben - I'm surprised that he's not terrified to talk to me, being that most of what he says later appears where millions can read it. But I did learn three important things from him today: one, that Roz and Lou read my diary (which I already knew... I had to explain to James that it was my online diary, and in fact I had not caught Lou hiding behind my wardrobe waiting to steal a written version from my bedside); two, Roz and Lou have written about me and my diary on their online journal, the web address of which I forget; and three, that Doug fancies Lou. Of course, we all realise that this last is a lie... except, does Doug realise it? I'll leave you to ponder that while I tell the book-lovers (or librophiles... possibly...) amongst you that I got 'To Kill A Mockingbird' from the (school) library today, in order to read it for the first time since year 10. And I'll let you guess who I was sitting next to.

February 7th 2004

I appear to be having difficulty in stemming the tide that is caused by posting an online diary... I also appear to be having difficulty in making myself clear. First, Ben took my comments about his website the wrong way (I think I might have mentioned that before...) and now my February 2nd posting has been misunderstood, this time by (I think) Roz. I made a lighthearted statement about MSN - basically, it was self-deprecating, because self-deprecating jokes always go down well when you're as pathetic as I am. (See?) However, in some quarters it appeared that I was directing an insult at all users of MSN, so to read; "I consider myself to have just as many friends as Colin, its just mine happen to live in the 21st century and know how to use a PC" was a bit of a surprise, and not just because of the missing apostrophe. I agree with the sentiments entirely - she probably does have more friends than me. And, yes, I expect that they do live in the 21st century (anything else would actually be more impressive... just ask H. G. Wells). As to the PC claim; well, that too is unarguable. I humbly retract my comments. On a brighter note, this symbolises a whole new legion of readers of this page (and the good news is, they know how to use a PC), one of whom said that this page was 'good', before going on to say 'it does look like he has too much time on his hands though.' Can't argue with that. Another said that Roz's was better than mine. So, if you'd like to see hers, click on the underlined text. Back when I started this, I could write pretty much what I liked, and no-one (other than Simon) would find out. For instance, I wrote on here what I'd bought Powly for Christmas: if I did that now, two things would happen: firstly, he'd find out what it was within a couple of hours; and secondly, people would wonder why I'm buying Powly a Christmas present in February. On that note, I'll sign off, and await the barrage of abuse I'm sure to receive in every medium known to man. And woman.

February 9th 2004

Being that I've made a website about Friends, I'm going to write about last Friday's episode. Of Friends. Y'know, that sitcom thing. It wasn't bad - I long ago resigned myself to the fact that it's never going to get as good as Series 2 & 3 again - and there were some pretty good jokes. There were also some not-very-good jokes, but far fewer than in some episodes. Sadly, Ross, who once symbolised all that was sensible, the level-headed one in the group, has degenerated into what the Times called 'pantomime performance.' It was clear at some points last Friday, and apparently is going to occur even more next week - this is something that has disappointed me since Series 5, when Ross's 'rage' gave Schwimmer the chance to over-act. The trouble is; I don't like him overacting - I want him (and everybody else) to act like normal people, so his squeaking is not welcome on my TV screen. Speaking of TVs, did you know that Celeborn (in LotR) was known as Teleporno by some elves... or something... I've been reading Unfinished Tales. And discovering that Gandalf wasn't a man, despite what David Stedman tried to tell me. On a different note, I have to admit three potentially embarrassing things. One, I haven't washed my hair since 1998. Two, at the weekend Harper Lee made me cry. Three, I'm gay. Sadly for those of you who thought you had a scoop on your hands, only one of those three statements is true. I'll leave it up to you to work out which one (and if you get it wrong, I won't be happy). In order to make it easier for you, I'll write a little bit about To Kill A Mockingbird. When I first studied this book in Year 10, I thought it was quite good, but that was all - on re-reading it, I now realise that it's a great book, and I recommend it. Being that I couldn't remember much of the storyline, I was genuinely surprised when Atticus didn't die at the end: authors often like to kill off the truly great people they write about (eg Dr Iannis in Captain Corelli's Mandolin), and I for one was glad he didn't die. Someone else who didn't die is the Terminator... and I saw Terminator 2 last night for the first time, having seen Terminator a few months ago. The sequel's probably better than the first one: the effects are better, the storyline's deeper, and the fact that Arnie is seen as 'good' in the this one and 'bad' in the other one opens up poignant questions... he is simply programmed to fulfil a mission, he is certainly not morally good or bad in either. He just can't understand why it is wrong to kill people, and only refrains from doing so because the kid tells him he's not allowed to. In the same way, the other Terminator in T2 is not evil, he's just trying to complete the mission he's given. This morning I was trying to tell my friend why there are severe plotholes in Terminator (and its sequels), and I think he understood it. But I can't be bothered to write it out. Not today, anyway.

February 10th 2004

Last night, I decided on two policy changes. First, the next few books I read are going to be books I've never read before, starting with either Brave New World or Animal Farm. In the end I started reading A Guide to Bachelor Life, but Animal Farm's next on the list (after 9 pages of Brave New World I decided that it's not for me... I might try reading it when Simon's not watching Changing Rooms in the same room). The second thing I decided was that I'm going to stop writing about other people on this page - at least, not so much. It just comes back to bite me, when they either write about me on theirs, on confront me in 'real life'. (May I take this opportunity to apologise wholeheartedly to Roz, in what is my last reference to other blogs... possibly) I'm worried about my site, since Powly says that when he tried to go on it the other day, there were all kinds of time-out problems. Oh no! Speaking of Powly, my good friend Chris pointed out yesterday that he's more handsome than I am (what he actually said was that Powly is a 'pretty-boy.' When I contested this, he said that Powly is better looking than other people... and pointed at me). Now, I've long suspected that Powly only goes around with me in order to seem better-looking, in the same way that I walk round with him in order to seem shorter. Possibly. Allegedly.

Simon would like me to point out that, in the latest episode of Friends, there was a door that was supposed to enter onto a corridor, but in actual fact couldn't - it's very evident when you watch it. Also, something about a door and Rachel... he didn't want me to write what he said about John Lennon... so I won't.

February 11th 2004

Just finished Animal Farm... it's kind of depressing, although not too much. 1984 was worse, since it involved real people and was more scary. Animal Farm was really compelling (did you know that shanghai means compel? I learnt that in english today. Looking at a dictionary instead of doing work) even if it is propoganda.

February 12th 2004

First of all, I apologise to regular readers of this page who noticed that I messed stuff up yesterday... and to those of you who don't like the grey background. Tough, it's staying. So, Powly decided that he didn't want to see Worcester City. And that's fair enough, they are rubbish. So I'm going with Ian and James (Scott) instead... go Worcester! As well as soccer, I've been considering film. The trouble with Cameron Diaz is that she's started to take herself seriously as an actress, so she actually wants to act rather than do what she does best. It's a problem that Julia Roberst experienced before her... let's be honest, does anyone actually fancy Julia Roberts any more? And she always seems to have the same colour hair. In the interests of thespianism, Cameron dyed her hair dark for Gangs Of New York (I believe) which I haven't seen, but would like to. So if anyone out there wants to lend me the video/DVD... that would be much appreciated. (How cheap am I?)

February 13th 2004

Today was a pretty cool day (despite being Friday 13th...) as Peter came over and we played some music at church, Pete on guitar, me on piano (and sometimes singing) and Chris Day on the drums... except when we swapped round. Not everything went as well as I'd hoped, but Come Together was beatiful, and a few other pieces went really nicely. Also, Pete fixed our computer, which is great. Not so great is the fact that Mum crashed the car at a roundabout, although she's fine and the car's not too badly messed up, it ruined plans for Pete to go home... but more importantly, for Dad and I going away on Sunday. Not sure how we're going to figure that one out, yet. But tomorrow it's Worcester City Day, so I'm still happy (in case you were wondering, it's not really Worcester City Day. I made that up) and it's also St. Valentine's Day. Oh great. Well, it meant that we got to talk about a poem called Valentine in our last english lesson (at one point someone said that they didn't believe in love. How lucky are they?). I only discovered yesterday that someone I know from Christian Union is an orphan... and I never knew. Surely I should have known - it's like the fact that I didn't know Adam's father was dead despite the fact that I'd been sitting next to him in english for ages, and actually went to his house... so when I made a casual comment about cancer, that has to be one of the most embarrassing things I've ever done in my life. Anyways, no need to dwell on that. Those of you who were rushing out to buy me copies of Gangs Of New York will need to get refunds, cos I bought one off eBay today... my first 'Buy It Now' purchase.

February 16th 2004

Well, well, well. I certainly have a lot to write about; so much, in fact, that for the first time I'm writing this entry offline, so that I can copy it later. Yet another St. Valentine's Day came and went without me so much as speaking to a female who didn't give birth to me, but I did get to see Worcester City FC, something that you don't see on the front of many cards this time of year. The football wasn't great, what with Worcester being in the Doc Marten's Premiership, but it was enjoyable nonetheless, and tickets only cost 8 each. Without James, Ian and myself, the attendance would only have been a paltry 912, but we raised the roof with 915. Well, we might have done if there had been a roof: only a small section of St George's Road is covered, and for some reason most fans steered clear of that area. Maybe they were trying to get a tan. Although, given the weather conditions, that's unlikely. But we won ('we'?) with a goal from Mark Owen; one of only two players we knew the name of (the other being Mr. Worcester City, Carl Heeley). Yes, we had been researching the club; John Barton is the manager, and Ian learnt something about attendances that I can't remember. Being so low down in the leagues, Worcester didn't have names on the back of their shirts, so we did our best to make up names - James reckoned that number 7 looked like Tom South, so he was Tom. I reckoned that the number 3 looked like Jamie Victory (my favourite Cheltenham Town player, who's also number 3), so he was Jamie. For some reason that I cannot fathom, number 2 was Hamish. Powly told me yesterday that Hamish is Scottish for James - and he ought to know, what with his name being James and all. Although he did think that Felicity Kendal was a Blue Peter presenter. And today we're going bowling - hopefully Ian's no good at bowling, since it always takes me a couple of games to register above zero, and I don't think we're going to have more than a couple of games. Time to swallow your pride, Colin. I also have no money, having had to borrow from parents and James in order to buy the WCFC ticket, a WCFC scarf (7.50? You can buy parts of Africa cheaper than that! You can get a knighthood for 50p more) and a cheesburger. Say what you like about Worcester, but they do make some of the nicest cheeseburgers I've ever tasted. Speaking of cheeseburgers, the BAFTAs were last night - LotR got 5, including both Best Film prizes (BAFTA and publically voted), but astonishingly Pete Jackson didn't get Best Director. Master and Commander got a few prizes (including director), which I haven't seen. It looks pretty rubbish, though. Out of 70 new messages in my inbox today, one wasn't spam. And that one was telling me that my website has had a new guestbook entry - but whoever left the entry only filled in one of the question boxes, so the only clue as to their identity that I have is that they prefer Lord of the Rings to Harry Potter. So it could be anyone, really. Except JK Rowling. Another thing I did since updating this diary was go to a renewal of vows at Besford church. Now, renewing vows is something I've always thought was a bit odd - what do I know? Ask me again when I've been married 25 years - but it was a very nice ceremony, even if putting down coat and books on a seat is no longer an obvious enough indication that that seat is taken, apparently. (I got up to ring the bell - by pulling on a rope - and when I returned, I had nowhere to sit). I think that's everything... except to say that my Mum crashed our car on Friday (not too seriously) so they took it away this morning. And what a wonderful person Ian is, giving me lifts on Saturday and today (hopefully).

February 21st 2004

For the second time, I’m writing this entry offline, because it’s again a long time since I last updated. This is not because I’m lazy, or even because nothing’s happened to me over the last few days – I have, in fact, been away. Of which, more later. First of all, I went bowling with Powly and Ian last Monday (Simon was exceedingly annoyed not to have been invited. He was in Wales at the time, so I really don’t think he has any right to complain). Now, it always takes me a game or two to warm up when bowling – unfortunately, we only had two games. Also, the only options for bowling-ball size were 8 or 14 – except, I couldn’t get my fingers into the 8. So, 14 it was. So in the first game, I hit the pins about five or six times. Out of twenty shots. A score of 25ish wasn’t great… I was just happy to have hit the things at all. Powly got about 120, and Ian got somewhere between those two scores. My first two shots of the second game got me a spare. That’s the crazy world of bowling – Powly’s total from his first four shots was six, and I led for the rest of that game (a one point Powly had 30, and I had 61. Sweet), ending up with a winning score of 97 (Ian came second again, Powly last). Then I lost one and a half games of air hockey (Powly cheated… he took a shot when I asked him to wait), and watched as Ian beat Powly at pool. I was glad to hear that Ian doesn’t read this diary (although he knew of its existence), since it seems that more or less everyone I speak to (or, more recently, shield my face from) knows all about this page. Thank-you, Ian. So, on Tuesday I went with Dad up to Liverpool to stay in a YHA, which was very nice – there were lots of Beatles pictures and records on the walls, and while we were there we went to the Beatles Story, which was very cool. (While there, I learnt that Madonna used to be married to Sean Penn… not anything to do with the Fab Four, but interesting nonetheless…) I bought meself (spelling error intentional) a Beatles poster that has most of the album covers on, along with a few other pictures. That has led to a largescale reorganization of the posters in my bedroom (of which I have too many) and I’m given to thinking about which posters I’ll take to brighten up my Uni room (hopefully atWarwick). I think it’ll be Beatles, Robbie Keane, Gollum… but there’ll be more. After Liverpool, Dad and I met up with Simon and Mum in Chester, which doesn’t have a Greg’s!! Simon and I searched for a while, but got rather lost, finding ourselves looking down at the road we wanted to be on at one, traumatic, point. The hire car we got had a CD player – something that our normal car doesn’t have. So it was something of a luxury to be able to sing along to Please Please Me (among other albums) on our way up to Merseyside (she was just seventeen, and you know what I mean!). Whilst in Chester, I bought myself 'Previously on Friends', a book that Simon once bought for a friend of his, so I had already read, but hadn’t seen most of the episodes it was written about. The book is about series 2 & 3 – to my mind, the best series by a country mile. Think about it: this is classic Friends; Chandler lives with Joey, Rachel lives with Monica, Ross & Rachel are making the most emotional TV seen on Friends. I was surprised to see several errors in the book – except, they were mostly not really errors: only one or two quotes were given per episode, but loads of them were different from the quotes that actually made the programme. Some were just worded differently – that could be an error – but many just didn’t exist. I guess that Penny Stallings must have written the book before the episodes were aired, or at least without having seen them: I can’t think of any other explanation. I also bought the Rembrandt’s single I’ll Be There For You for 69p, adding to my Friends merchandise (of which there is surprisingly little). Watch out for Crazy Merchandise Man, coming soon to Crazy Snake Man. Indeed, I plan to make Crazy Janice Man and Crazy Googlewhack Man when I get back to school – so watch this space. On the subject of another TV programme with a cheery title, I missed three episodes of Neighbours – three! – whilst away. And not just any episodes, but Max & Steph episodes – the best – where their storyline was excitingly advanced, with Steph recovering from cancer, Max proposing, and the question of children being raised. I cannot believe that I missed it. In other news, I e-mailed a couple of people on eBay complaining that I hadn’t received items from them, and within minutes of me sending the e-mails, it turned out that they’d arrived at the wrong place, because I’d missed out ‘Eckington’ in my address. I thought that the first thing they used was post code, which I had put on. Ah well. Since I can tell that you’re busting to know what I bought (and devotees of this page might already know), I got Gangs Of New York and Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. The latter has the best cover of any album. Ever (did you know that John wanted Hitler and Jesus on the cover?). And the songs aren’t bad. The former isn’t bad either – unfortunately, Mr. Scorcese wanted it to be one of the all-time greats, which it is not. DDL put in a good performance – did he win an Oscar for it? – but we didn’t see enough of Cameron Diaz (I need to stop going on about her…). Although some of the critics disagree, I think that LDC put in a good performance, but the film just didn’t have that special something that would make it truly great, being that it kind of petered out plotwise. I apologise for the abbreviations – you know who was in it. Hopefully. Another film I saw in the last couple of days was To Kill A Mockingbird, with the late Gregory Peck as Atticus, who was voted the greatest movie hero of all time by the AFI. In many parts the film was remarkably close to the book, quoting extensively from it and not missing out many events. However, Aunt Alexandria was left out (which I can’t say I’m sorry about), and Scout’s schooling was only briefly touched upon, so it wasn’t completely accurate. I feel that the trial (the whole black prejudice thing) isn’t as important to the book as some try to make it – sure, it’s important, but only one important thing among many. Now, that is a great film, although not as good as the book – although Scout is well-played, you can’t get a kid – or any actor, most likely – to be as good as written narrative. And I think that Atticus was probably too young – at the time, there were worries that he was too good-looking, although putting some glasses on him soon cured him of that. In fact, he reminded me of Kit Reeve in the Superman films. I’m sorry, I like to call people Kit, even if no-one else does. Friday’s episode of Friends was pretty good – David Schwimmer did overplay his part (as usual, nowadays), but it was still pretty funny, and although Amanda was unrealistic, Chandler had some very funny jokes, and my family – who didn’t know what was going to happen, as I did – laughed out loud a lot. Perhaps I should stop reading the scripts, as it can ruin some of the jokes. But perhaps not. On the subject of colours (I realize I was not), Chandler when untanned looked more tanned than Monica when she was supposed to be very well tanned. Another thing I noticed about the episode was that many of the jokes had already been made on Friends – on four or five occasions, we were reminded of previous episodes, ranging from series two to series seven. And at one point Chandler said that he’d never cut anyone out of his life… er, what about Kip? Or, more obviously, Eddie? The book I bought had a quote from (I think) Kevin Crane, saying that Eddie would be back. With a gun. But he hasn’t come back, and I don’t see him returning any time soon – I’m surprised that Friends didn’t get in more trouble for the fact that Eddie was a lunatic and that this was a source of amusement to the gang, who exploited his insanity rather than help him in any way (and there was actually a ‘factual’ error about Eddie in the book I bought, since it said that Chandler claimed Eddie moved out a year ago, whereas in fact he claimed that Eddie had never moved in). Well, this has been the longest entry yet by some margin. It’s a good job I didn’t write it straight online, or our phoneline would be tied up for what has been approximately (to the nearest minute) four years worth of typing time. School again in two days’ time. And I better work out what in the hell I’m supposed to be doing for my chemistry coursework.

What? There's more? Yes, I just discovered that Sanity in Evesham has closed (see, other people's blogs can be useful)... I already thought that it would, since last time I was there large portions of it were sealed off. But they were selling CDs and DVDs for practically nothing... and I missed it. Darn. Although, last time there was a situation like that (Andy's Records in Worcester) there was a mad rush and nothing worth buying, even if it was only 10p or so. Well, that's it. Honest. Bye.

February 23rd 2004

Today, children, I hope to cover the subjects of homosexuality, love and The Darkness. And, before I hear the rustling sound of lawsuits being filed, I'd like to make it clear that the three are not in connection with each other. Firstly, The Darkness. I saw at the Brits the other day they won various different prizes, including Best British Rock Band. Which led me thinking: The Darkness occasionally pretend to be a rock band. More often, they pretend to be pretending to be a rock band. However, they are not a rock band: they are a one-trick pony and clearly released a Christmas single so early in their career because they know they're a one-trick pony, and want to make as much money as possible. Quick. It's not their arrogance that annoys me so much as their overwhelming smugness: everything about them oozes an odious smugness that I haven't come across in music since Frankie Goes To Hollywood: even Robbie Williams isn't as bad. Now, I've been holding off writing about East of Eden (the book I'm currently reading) because I didn't really know what to make of it. I couldn't feel any empathy for the characters whatsoever, and I thought that that was probably because of a deliberate ploy by Steinbeck (the author), since he jumps around between characters in completely different places and situations, not resting on any set of people long enough for you to care about them. And in Cathy he has created a monster in the mould of Heathcliff, someone who has no qualms or even sentiments; yet it is more disturbing than Wuthering Heights. Today I decided to stop reading the book after being seriously disturbed by what was written about the nastiest side of prostitution - I'll protect my more sensitive readers by saying nothing more - but I decided to carry on reading, and miss out those bits. The way the book is written, it'll probably be another 200 pages before I'm at any disadvantage. Also in the book today was mention of love, and the way that it can easily turn into hate: many people who've never been in love cannot understand that the two emotions are so close together, but it makes sense really. When you fall out of love, you see this person, who has dictated you emotions for however long, unveiled, and it makes you angry that you've been such a fool. I've never hated with an all-consuming passion, and I hope never to. Woah, that was a bit deep. If you thought that was bad, I'm now coming onto the issue of homosexuality, something that I've been thinking over recently (not as a career choice...) since it's been a bone of contention in the Church recently. I know it's very fashionable - and has been for a while - to be wholly accepting of homosexuality, with homophobics put in the same category as racists, but that's really terribly unfair. The word homophobic suggests a fear of homosexuality, which is also unfair: maybe some people do have a fear of it(?) but most so-called homophobics are morally against it. Obviously, it says in the Bible that homosexual relationships are wrong, so for me that's a very clear pointer as to what to believe in. Also, to me, the idea of kissing a man or having sex with a man is repulsive - before people get cross about me being judgemental or prejudiced, I'm only saying what I feel, not voicing an opinion. And I was also wondering whether you are born homosexual, or whether it is something that you become (and, indeed, the same with heterosexuality. Certainly we are not born with sexual urges: are they impressed upon us by society?). Obviously, homosexuality cannot easily be inherited. Think about it. For a long time I argued that it was unnatural - and, of course, in the interests of reproduction, it is. However, I read a while ago about some form of life that is dying out because the female of the species has become largely homosexual: if that is true, it has to change the way a lot of people think. Well, I hope I haven't offended people - I almost certainly have - but I just wanted to voice what I've been thinking. When you meet a gay man, you can't very well tell him that he's not really gay, he just didn't have the love of his father (the conventional approach by therapists, I understand. Well, it was in Captain Corelli's Mandolin). I just wish that so-called homophobes would be given the time of day, rather than viewed as inferior human beings: I remember reading that someone had been charged for making 'homophobic' comments, and that a gay-rights activist (I don't think it was Peter Tatchill) pointed out that this man should also have the right to freedom of speech. I hope that I am allowed that right. And I also hope that I manage to fix my computer, because the CD drive's broken again.

February 24th 2004

Isn't coolmint toothpaste great? I mean, it's so much better than spearmint, peppermint, or freshmint (what the hell's that?). It makes going to bed fun (I should write slogans), cos you finish the day with a burst of coolness in your mouth. One thing that isn't great is McDonalds. I've got no problem with their food, hygeine etc. - it's their slogan that annoys me. i'm lovin' it. My word. Not only will thousands of foreigners be encouraged in their usage of the present participle in everyday speech, but McDonalds can't even be bothered to capitalise the 'i'. More than that, they've gone out of their way to make it lower case, to get in with the texting generation. Well here's one guy who would still write 'I love it' rather than 'I'm lovin' it.' Although that is a bit close to the Sun's slogan. And McDonalds have recently been advertising their food by pointing out that, for the price of a cheeseburger, you can get a flight to Sweden. Why this suggests that we should buy cheeseburgers is a mystery to me - the best McDoogals could come up with is that Swedish rock music isn't very good. If we based our holidays on rock music, we'd all go to Liverpool for the Summer. For a lot more than it costs to go to Sweden.

February 25th 2004

I discovered the other day that Sir Cliff has the highest record sales (for singles) in the UK. Ever. Beating the Beatles into second place, and Elvis into third. I also discovered, to my horror, that Westlife came above U2. Of the chart, I have bought singles by Boyzone, Westlife, Celine Dion, Cliff Richard... I think that's it. Don't judge me: they weren't all for me. And I was young once. Speaking of the Beatles, isn't amazing how you hear a song, think it's great, and then suddenly you discover it's by the Beatles. Well, it happens to me... the latest time was Money (That's What I Want). Doug's just complained that my diary doesn't have paragraphs... as I explained to him, every time I sit down to type is a paragraph; when I come back again, I start a new paragraph. I hope that makes more sense than it did when I said it in my head. Now, let's turn our minds to my bedroom door (an exciting image for most of you, I should imagine. Well, those of you with an interest in bland 1970s doors). On it, I have stuck the covers to most of the albums I own, in paper cases with transparent fronts. I think it looks very artistic (actually, I stuck them up ages ago. I've just thought about it now), but the problem is that whenever I change it round a bit (when I buy a new album), loads of them fall off because I used rubbish blue tack. But don't let this put you off - go ahead and do it yourself. For a handy hint, try putting the albums in alphabetical order by title, like I did. Or, if you like to live wild, alphabetical order by artist. Try it yourself. Beats taking drugs. Unless they happen to be prescription drugs that you need in order to live.

February 26th 2004

Today is my first leading of Christian Union (last time I was supposed ot do it I was ill that day) so that's an open invitation to anyone who is legally allowed to be in E4 at 1:20 this afternoon. Although, since this is going up at around ten to twelve, I'm reaching a limited audience with this. It's going to be about (among other things) St Paul. Who is a Dude. In other news, Neighbours last night was a bit rip-roaring... all kinds of exciting things happening (although I can't recollect some of them...) including Harold collapsing. He did it in a very Neighbours-way (ie rubbish) - they always seem to like filming the ground where someone is about to fall, as they fall on it. This looks terrible, and always has done. Also, Lou married Trixie (ugh), which might mean she goes away for a while... and might mean she gets killed. Hopefully. I really don't like Trixie. And I'm also doing an english presentation last thing today, which I could really do with making some time soon.

Well, I just did my Christian Union thing (and none of you turned up)... it wasn't an unmitigated disaster, although at one point I called Jesus the last Jew, and there were large periods of silence while people thought what an idiot I was. But then people got talking, so it wasn't too bad - and I had something prepared in case people didn't talk at once. Which did the job.

I have to make an apology here. Money (That's What I Want) wasn't written by the Beatles, as I claimed the other day, but was covered by them on the album With The Beatles. Sorry!

February 27th 2004

Today in assembly Our Revered Leader talked about racism. Quite controversially, he declared himself against it. He also said that he hears racist chants at Wolves - something I've never heard. In fact, off the top of my head, black players in recent years have included Sturridge, Blake, M. Camara, H. Camara, Ince, Newton... I think that's enough to be going on with. It's likely you'll get more stick for being white.

I've realised that I love Neighbours, and I've been wondering why. Certainly not because it's good - it's terrible, and I know it. But I don't care. Perhaps it's because it's lighthearted (unlike rubbish like EastEnders). But I think (and maybe I'm analysing too much) that it's because in the thirty minutes or so that Neighbours is on, I know that there's nothing else I should be doing - I can relax. When I watch other programmes, later in the evening, I think there's usually a subconcious feeling that I should be doing work. When I'm at school, I'm either doing work or thinking that there's some due in pretty soon. But when I'm watching Neighbours, I can put all thought of chemistry coursework out of my mind... and that's why I like it. Or it could just be that I fancy Carla Bonner.

February 28th 2004

I wouldn't say that the votes have been flooding in, but there've been enough on such a boring subject to make me consider making Crazy Diary Poll Man a permanent feature, about more interesting subjects, with more clearly worded choices. As of yet, the results of the current poll (chronology of diary entries) is 50/50, so I haven't come to a decision. Remember, people, only you can affect the outcome. Well, you or anyone else in the civilised world. Today I've spent a long time doing chemistry coursework, but all I've actually managed to get done is make the colours, titles etc. on several graphs uniform. This coursework is not fun. And I'd like to apologise to those voters who clicked on the 'back to website' link and found themselves staring at a blank white screen. That has now been redeemed. And on to Friends last Friday (I still live in hope that a Friends fan will come across Crazy Snake Man... some have already). It wasn't a great episode; some of the lines were okay, but Matthew didn't deliver his line about the dog very well, and a few of his lines seemed the most basic sarcasm. I like sarcasm to be a little more advanced. Although his bit with Monica for the camera was pretty good.

what was I listening to?
With the Beatles - The Beatles
what was I reading?
To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee
what was I watching?
To Kill a Mockingbird
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